As I sit here writing this it feels like there is so much sadness all around me and in the wider world.

When you see the horrendous scenes in Gaza and Israel on the news (not to mention what we know is still happening in Ukraine), it’s almost impossible to feel that it’s OK for you to be happy yourself.

Couple that with general life and perhaps situations occurring in your own life, or those of your close friends and loved ones, and for many people at the moment it feels like the world has become a very sad and negative place.

For anyone who lives with anxiety or depression, times like these can easily exacerbate their thoughts and feelings so they feel totally out of control. But even for those who don’t normally experience depression or anxiety, there are currently “black clouds” hanging around.

So I wanted to write a piece today to share how I cope when I feel affected by sadness over events that I have no control over, in the hope it might help someone reading this.

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge whatever negative emotions you are experiencing. Your feelings are incredibly important and worthy of attention. Supressed feelings don’t go away. They simply express themselves elsewhere - sometimes through digestive issues or skin complaints, sometimes headaches and definitely in my experience as a therapist , in long term pain conditions.

So recognise your feelings and take time to sit with them. Just let them be. If you need to cry, then do it. If you need talk, then find a trusted friend or family member, or someone like me who offers a safe space to talk through your feelings. Just don’t suppress them.

Secondly, is there something you can do that would make it feel like you’ve made a small difference at this time? Taking a positive action can lift your emotions and make a huge difference to how you are feeling. In the case of wars - can you afford to donate to a reputable charity that is providing aid? Can you volunteer with a local charity that is coordinating aid?

When we are faced with international crises most of us do feel totally helpless. If you can’t donate to the world aid, can you help someone locally (by volunteering with a charity or giving to a food bank). Again taking positive action to help others really does lift your spirits, knowing you are making a difference to someone somewhere in the world.

If your sadness is generated closer to home, can you visit or phone the person who is going through a bad time to give them space to talk about their feelings? Or send them card to let them know you care.

Thirdly, remember that everything in life is a phase. Situations do change. Time moves on. That’s not to say that you don’t feel pain, anger and sadness for everyone who has been affected, but in taking the steps above, you begin to process what is happening in a different way and gain back control of your own emotions.

Gayle x