Treat Yourself Like You Treat Others
Have you even been in a situation where your friend, your sibling, your child or a colleague was feeling really sad, under the weather, depressed even, and spoke to you about their feelings?
It might be that they were experiencing extreme stress or anxiety due to work and family demands or as a result of something that happened to them outside of their control but which sent them into a spiral of anxiety.
There are many reasons why people can feel overwhelmed, anxious, depressed or any combination of those feelings and unfortunately since the Covid Pandemic, those types of feelings are happening to more and more people of all ages and backgrounds.
If you’ve ever had someone close to you confide that that was how they were feeling, what was your response? Did you tell to “pull their socks up and get on with things”? Perhaps you said, “what have you got to complain about? There are people much worse off than you”. Or did you tell them it was all in their mind and you didn't know why they were making such a fuss about it?
No. I am pretty certain that none of the above would be how you responded to your loved one in their hour of need!
So, with that in mind, why do you - yes you - speak to yourself like that? Why do you think you are not worthy of being listened to? Why do you think your problems are not as big or as bad as someone else’s therefore they don’t deserve the same attention?
I can write this with the confidence that many, if not the majority of people reading it will all have something in common. They put the needs of everyone else first and feel guilty if they shine any light on their own needs.
So my challenge for you going forward is to treat yourself as you would your best friend or another loved one.
Recognise when you are not at your best and take time to think about why.
Give validation to the reasons that you came up with in point 1. Don’t dismiss those reasons as not worthy of attention.
Once you have identified and accepted the reasons behind your feelings, think about where you might seek support to help move you forward
Go forward and ask for that support
Be kind to yourself
Go for walks
Meet friends for coffee
Get creative or read a book or magazine
Do whatever you need to do to give yourself some breathing space until you feel stronger again.
And if all of the above begins to feel strange and unsettling, remember this one thing. “What would you say to your friend?”